I don't want anyone to know who this is. This is my second tumblr account. Too many people knew about my other one and I had to get another. I curse a lot on here, but not in person. I'm nice on the outside but if you could hear the thoughts in my head, I'm sure I'd have no friends. I'm so different and I hate it. Half the time, I don't even care. I'm not living... just existing. You all will probably think I'm depressed beyond belief but in all honesty, I'm not. I just put the negative shit out here. I've come to learn: no expectations = no disappointments.
My friends are so boring. Only 2 of them have had their first kiss. We’re all turning 17 soon. HOW LAME IS THAT?! Like come on people. It’s so fucking annoying. I’m not a virgin… seriously people.
Their idea of “fun” is sitting around and having a movie night. I WANT TO PARTY! All of last year I was a party girl. I went out every fucking weekend to a party. I completely miss the old me. I miss the boyfriend, the friends I had, the parties I went to…just everything. And now, I get looked down upon whenever I talk about it. Because of them, I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t even know what I like or dislike. I don’t know what I want or who I want to be. I’m literally living in a state of “i don’t know.”
I need to get the fuck out of here. Like as soon as possible. I really don’t even care about any of you guys. I just want out. I want to start over. And never look back.
In all honesty, tonight fucking sucked. I went to Miranda’s house and we sat around for an hour answering the door. Then we went out trick or treating for an hour. We tried to meet up with Kyra but it was so pointless. She didn’t even want us around. She basically ditched us.
Miranda is a pussy. She’s the oldest out of all of us and she won’t even go up to a haunted house or watch a predictable scary movie. She freaks out and just leaves. It’s so annoying. Grow the fuck up. Katherine kept making fun of her, that was really funny but really mean.
When we went back to Miranda’s house, we watched Desperate Housewives. Katherine drove me home after that. I got home at 10:15..fuck my life.
I’m so unsatisfied with tonight it’s ridiculous. I used to be some wild child, in love, and the party girl. Now, I sit around and watch tv with people I find annoying. What the hell has happened to my life? I hate it most of the time. My friends are ass holes and really don’t give a shit about me, my grades suck, my parents don’t understand me, and I’m faking a smile more than 85% of the time.
I just don’t even know anymore. All I do know is that when I can get the hell out of here, I’m never coming back.
[»Highlight of my night: Some middle schooler said “dude she’s so hot” after he left when I gave him candy. Pathetic, I know.»]
button
